Chora, Female Candidate

[Lilly]

Name: Chora (Ch'ra) (pronounced KOHR-ah and Shra)
Age: 12
Gender: Female
Sexuality: Heterosexual
Rank: Candidate
Location: Eyrie


Personality: Chora is very outgoing and is definetly far from shy. However, she is stubborn, determined and hot headed. Chora holds strong grudges against those who provoke her, although she can be forgiving. Chora has a passion for animals, and will do anything to be near them, even if that animal is hostile. This can get her into trouble sometimes. Fortunately, she is smart enough to clear out when it comes to the Koxi.

Chora is very sensitive when it comes to other animals and people, and will always stand up for what she thinks is right, no matter if it's right or wrong. This often gets her into trouble. Chora also has an incredible sense of empathy, and can put herself in others' shoes as easily as we might put on our own. She does her best to help her friends when they're feeling down. She hates to see anyone unhappy.

There is one type of animal that Chora just can't stand; spiders. She's always been afraid of them. Spiders are the only animals she considers entirely evil. Spiders make her freak out, and they are a very effective way of 'negotiating' with her. The bigger the spider, the more she hates it.


Appearance: Chora has golden brown hair with a few streaks of blonde. Her eyes are light blue. Chora is always wearing a pair of jeans, typically with holes in the knees, and a t shirt, normally plain. Chora likes going barefoot, but when she has to wear shoes, she wears a pair of worn down sneakers or a pair of equally tattered sandals. Chora's hair is almost never brushed, and it poofs out around her head most of the time. Her appearence definetly shows that she loves to be outside.


Family: Unknown. She grew up in an orphanidge, although she has been told her parents are still alive.
Pets: Her pets are the creatures that live near her house, regardless of their species.


History: Chora grew up in an orphanidge, where the kids just basically went wild. She was always going out and finding insects and little lizards during the daytime, and read books about them when she wasn't allowed to go outside. (sorry for the short history; I have to go so I'll edit it later)




Desired Color: Tawny or Blue
Undesired Color: Green or Red
Reasoning: I've always had a soft spot for sweethearts, and Chora is good at working with others like a blue simourv. I'm not really a fan of the several personalities of the greens and I don't really want a super fierce simourv.
Injury/Mauling: I'm guessing this means how much injury she can have in the rp? Anything from a tiny scratch to... well, I'd like to avoid near-death, as it's a little too pitiful for my tastes. If it means scars or anything, well, no notable ones. Plenty of little ones, though.

[winged]

Well, you need to run this through a spell check first and foremost. Orphanage is spelled incorrectly in several places here, and I see some other errors as well. Several generations have passed since the settlers arrived on Pohono - clothing articles like jeans and t-shirts just don't exist - think more like trousers, skirts, dresses, etc.

Pohono doesn't have spiders. Her appearance needs to be fleshed out - how tall is she? Is she pudgy? Muscled? Is her skin tanned or does it just burn and peel off in the sun? How long is her hair? Need more show as to how her appearance shows that she loves to be outside, and less tell.

And her history needs to be worked on, as well. You made a note about it, but as it stands it's unacceptably short and you won't be able to start role-playing until it's complete and up to standards.

Just my opinions. Bre probably has more.

[Bre]

Pohono doesn't really have orphanages. Because of the stress put on their culture, it would be more common for a random neighbor to take in the kid if they had absolutely no place else to go. And if you randomly decide you want to ditch your kids, like her parents? There would be cultural hell to pay.

There's a lot you can do with her history. Being an orphan gives you a pretty good place to start. And didn't she have friends? Important life moments?